Monthly Archives: April 2011

Wedding Day

The Royal Wedding was impeccable!! Absolutely stunning. I loved seeing all the hats & pomp & regalia. So romantic!! But even as I enjoyed watching & making up a silly Brit guest name for myself & all that, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Kate. I’ll tell you why & get a bit personal, even if perhaps it is a little uncomfortable, because I think it important to share especially for all those young girls yet to marry. It’s time we’re open about some of these things since the world so openly flaunts their side. I don’t want my daughter or nieces to grow up hearing/seeing that weddings are for “bridezillas” & a big show, all about the flowers & invitations, etc. which is what the world tells our little girls. I want them to hear Truth so they can make good decisions when it’s their turn. I hope the following words ring in their ears as they wait for their prince.

I’m sad for Kate because (hopefully) this will be the only wedding she gets. And although it was perfectly performed, neither of them had that sparkle in their eyes that comes from two people who saved themselves for each other. Sorry, I just have to say it. She was gorgeous! He was dapper (with his hat on). His smile would melt any woman’s heart. Since I really only follow royalty for weddings & babies, I hadn’t honestly even heard of Kate until this last week. But after hearing their story, I just couldn’t help but feel sad for her. They have been living together for how long?? She sold herself cheap to him years ago. And he didn’t respect her enough to give her anything but a hussy reputation & non-commitment for ten years. He didn’t even look her way until he saw her on a cat walk in lingerie! Now THERE’S real love, my friends. Goodness. I just shake my head. How embarrassing for both of them.

I know it’s “old-fashioned”. I know it’s passed off as to be expected, shacking up before marriage. I know some even think a “trial run” is a good thing, even after we’ve known for years that research proves premarital relations cause problems in marriage period, even if you don’t believe God tells us the best way to live this life in His Word. I know it’s perceived as “judgmental” to say anything. I also know without a doubt that what I’m saying is true & I just don’t hear people telling their stories to prove it much. I’m not sure if the quietness is due to embarrassment at themselves not doing it right, or for whatever dumb reason, being embarrassed at having come to the altar unscarred?? All I do know is I’m sick of seeing so-o-o-o many trodding down the same crooked, beaten down road; many not even having a clue there is anything wrong with what they are doing – that’s the truly sad part.

I say something out of concern because, as two who did get there unscarred, I can tell you without a doubt IT IS WORTH IT!! Only by God’s grace were we raised in homes that taught us the Truth & we listened. We didn’t see how far we could go without getting caught. We didn’t date around & give bits of our hearts to people before we met. Even after we were engaged, we didn’t do anything alone that we would be ashamed to have our parents or Jesus sit next to us & see. As a reward, Keith & I don’t have to wonder if the other still has feelings for some long-lost lover or live in guilt or shame, remorse, insecurities or comparing. We don’t spend any time untying tight knots of issues in our hearts from giving ourselves too early or to others. He respected me enough to wait for me. THAT, girls, is a PRINCE! I loved him enough to save him my whole heart. And the blessings that flow from a marriage free from all that garbage is beyond what all the money in the world could buy. So many never have that – I want that for my children! Keith & I pray for that now for each of our children and the little ones in our extended families & church. It starts by teaching them early that it’s worth it to wait for that special one God has for them. This whole crazy dating early stuff has baffled me for years! Why encourage that with children too young to handle it or be ready for it? Shouldn’t we as parents be protecting our kids from this? I just don’t understand that, but sorry, I digress.

Kate will never see in Will that look I saw in Keith’s eyes on our wedding day. It’s not anything I can put into words, it’s just worth waiting for!! I tear up every time I remember. I could feel God there. He made two people one that day. It truly is a mysterious thing, but it’s true. When we watched the video the next year, apparently a baby was fussing pretty loudly the whole time we said our vows to each other, but I never heard a bit of it. I was totally enraptured. All I remember was the tender love in Keith’s eyes & the complete heart I was able to give him as we promised ourselves to each other to the end of our days. I remember my heart fluttering & the flush in my face as Keith put his hand on my waist for pictures – that was the first time he’d ever done that. We had saved “quickening” our love inappropriately until our wedding day & it made that day inexpressibly precious! I saw none of that mystery for obvious reasons with Will & Kate. As beautiful, memorable, regal, ceremonial, etc. as it was Friday, for Will & Kate, it was just the beginning of a lifetime of that kind of thing. But that special day when you give yourself to another can never be recreated. God intended for that to happen on your wedding day to cement you two together for good. He knows best – He made us. I can tell you, it is worth the wait! And even if you spend tons of money & have the world a twitter at your smashing dress, if you don’t do it the way God intended, you end up with a whole lot of needless heartache guaranteed.

I say all that with no malice, only to tell those little girls (& boys) watching that they can have better! Kate & Will have NOTHIN’ on my wedding & it had nothing to do with the dress or fanfare, etc. I want for my children to have the awesome day God intended for them to look back on with wonder & romance & joy all the rest of their lives. It is not naivety, it is love & wanting only the best for our children. And as long as God gives me breath, I will teach them & guide them to that end until they say “I do”.

I pray Will & Kate have many, many happy years together. It will be fun to watch them have a family, her wear beautiful clothes, etc. I love that kind of stuff! But I also know, with the start they had, there will be major storms coming. Every marriage has storms, but they will have deep scars & issues due to the last ten years that will require either Jesus to heal (and He can!) or a whole lot of faking it to the media. It just makes me sad. I pray when those storms come, they look to Jesus to take their broken pieces & make something truly beautiful as only He can. I really do pray that for them.

Next planned post (a follow-up): Now What?
(For those who are already scarred; it’s never hopeless!!)


Ha-a-a-ardy-Har-Har-Har…

We were just talking the other day in small group about sarcasm & how dangererous it is period. I’m the one who brought it up! Keith & I determined very early on in our marriage that even though it’s funny sometimes, it causes LOTS of damage to relationships & that’s just one place we won’t go. Well, apparently, even though we’ve tried, it has crept in.

Here is the perfect example AGAINST using sarcasm (even the humorous kind) in the home:

Days ago, Keith was hunting down his headphones in the moving madness. He was hoping to listen to his iPod while sorting a while. Every once in a blue moon, we talk “Honeymooners” style. I don’t know, I guess it’s funny to us because Ralph reminds us of my Grandpa Bob. It’s sad really, but since it’s never been an issue in our relationship, there’s something ridiculously absurd in the whole spouse accusing their spouse of harming them intentionally. So anyway, Keith said in jest, “Where did you put my headphones??” like I had some devious plan to get him. So I came back with the silliest answer I could come up with on short notice, “I flushed them down the toilet.” We had a good laugh, but Jack was listening. He followed me to the bathroom this morning, FOUR DAYS LATER, with, “Did you fwush Daddy’s headphones down the toyet?? Why did you fwush Daddy’s headphones down the toyet??”, needing an answer & looking down earnestly into the toilet. *shaking head* I’ll never do that again. And THANKFULLY he hasn’t tried it himself!! @_@


DVD Contest!!

Enter to win a chance to win the new What’s In the Bible DVD here! The contest ends April 18th, so hurry & enter. Can’t wait to hear the new Bentley Brothers songs – we love Rhett & Link around here.