Marriage is like a sailboat race. Take just the front page of the introduction for beginners page… 1) Superior speed is not enough to win the game. “(All of the) crew members on board each boat are at the top of their game and must each give their absolute best in the effort to win.” 2) America’s Cup match racing is a team effort. 3) Block the opponent’s chances. You have to stay alert, be analytical & strategic, etc.
To stay on course & reach your final destination safely, you have to make mid-course corrections. If you do not, even if you start out going the right way, the wind & storms that come will send you off in the wrong direction. Possibly into some rocks & a total disaster. Some reach the goal well, others crash along the way. Those who are successful are those who work together, make those necessary changes as needed, and keep the boat headed toward the goal line.
Sometimes, in stormy weather, the crew may even have to talk really loudly in order to accomplish the task at hand. If heard by an outsider, this could be mistaken for disrespect. But sometimes it takes that to hear each other. (Don’t you love that analogy?)
Here’s a link about the four main jobs on board: tactician (responsible for tactics relative to the other boat on the race course), helmsman (steers the boat), strategist (looks at the bigger picture on the race course), & navigator (keeps track of position and distances left to sail). Which jobs do you have? Which ones are your spouse’s? Is anyone doing these things? If not, what’s keeping you from getting off course &/or crashing?
The thrill of finishing strong is second to none, and the journey there is an adventure to be shared with future generations. So take lots of pictures.