After reading one blog with a pregnancy annoucement & another talking about family size & the “quiver-full movement”, I thought this must be a good day to share our family testimony on the subject. If this is too personal for you, just hop off my blog for today.
When we were newly married & even before, I always pictured my family with at least six children. I never gave it a thought otherwise. Nobody in our family that I knew of had any problems conceiving as many children they wanted. In fact, the females in my family had the opposite situation from my grandmothers on down. So, when I got married, I just assumed we’d have children every two years or so until we had six to eight & that’s that. Preferrably, I even had the genders picked out – two boys, two girls, two boys, and maybe another girl at the end. One more of either gender after that would be ok with me, too. Keith has always said three to five, but more if I was up for it.:) Isn’t it fun to be so young & naive?
Once Keith & I made it to Korea & realized our teaching schedule was a good one – I worked from 9-1, then he from 1-5 & then we were completely free, we thought we could handle a baby with no trouble. We just had to have the birthdate in the summer. No problem! Nate was due July 19th – couldn’t get anymore mid-summer than that! I was now absolutely sure we could have as many children as we wanted & exactly when we put our order in for them.:)
When Nate turned a year old, it was time to “put in our order” for #2. Trouble was, the first window of opportunity came & went. By now, the Korea job was winding down & we were heading home anyway. We left the door open for the next baby whenever, thinking it would be soon.
That next year was a very difficult one for me. As a year & half went by, I was for the first time faced with the thought that we might not have any more! It may seem silly to outsiders, but that thought terrified me! It angered me. It hurt deeply. I loved children! I saw them as a blessing. I wanted to raise a whole bunch of them for the Lord. Why would God “just” give me one? (Editorial note: God gave Abraham & Sarah “only” one.) It wasn’t until I gave God my dream of children that God blessed us with Caroline. I remember the day I finally stopped wrestling with Him about it, gave up the struggling & admitted to the Lord what was obvious – He was in control & I trusted His will on this. He wanted me to get to the point where I was thankful for one, not sad about it & wishing for more! It was in April. God laid Callie in my arms the next January.
While we were expecting Callie, we came across the book A Full Quiver. Keith said it made perfect sense right away & left our family completely to the Lord. Believe it or not, I was the one who was a bit sceptical at first on that viewpoint, although for the life of me I can’t now remember why, but knew it was right for our family if Keith said it was. After a few months of prayer, right before Callie was born, my heart too saw that as the right way for our family to go.
After Caroline, I didn’t know what to expect. We now realized how very precious a gift Nate was, I mean, we always felt that he was, (his name even means “gift from God”) but after the “long wait” for Caroline, we found out what a gift from the Lord the timing of his birth was to us. We knew from day one that Callie was a gift. God had taught us that He alone gives life; He truly opens & closes the womb. He is totally in control!
When Callie was a year old, earlier than I expected, my heart ached again for a baby. It again seems strange from here because Callie wasn’t that old, but I remember crying on the phone with Mom about how nice it would be to have another. I suppose I was thinking we would probably be in for another “long wait”. Then Andrew joined us when Callie was hardly two. Those two were the closest in age yet. What a precious gift Anders is! We didn’t have to wait at all for him.:)
Anders is going to be four in March. I can’t believe it! I’ve had times of sadness thinking he might be our last baby, but not as many as I would’ve thought years ago. I guess God’s given me a gift of contentment. That’s not to say we wouldn’t be ecstatic if God surprised us again one of these days! But I just don’t dwell on it anymore. Both Keith & I pray often for God to work in & through our family however He sees fit. In that, I can be truly content. I am so thankful for our three children! If three is what God deems best for us, that’s all I want. If He chooses to give us more, that’s what I want more than anything. His will be done – Father really does know best! He’s proven that to me over the years.
I’ve always said I want an Isaac, not an Ishmael. I don’t want to try to force what God didn’t intend for me to have. I trust Him to give us exactly what is best for us. I’m so glad I have a God that has proven Himself over & over again to be utterly trustworthy!!!